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It’s no secret that Serbian weddings are incredibly lively, loud, and chaotic. If you don’t know what to expect, you may walk away with a sense of confusion and a terrible buzz in your ears. But worry not — as long as you’re familiar with Serbian wedding traditions and customs, you’re in for a blast!
Our guide will help you prepare for this special day and answer the key questions. Whether you’re planning to tie the knot in Serbia or attend as a guest, get ready to party hard!
Serbian culture is rich and diverse, so naturally, wedding traditions vary from place to place. Also, people in rural areas are more inclined to stick to old customs than city folks.
Besides, many young couples are adopting Western practices, like appointing bridesmaids or exchanging vows.
So, the next time you attend a wedding, it may not perfectly match what we describe in our guide. With that said, our list features the customs that you’re likely to see in a traditional Serbian wedding.
Today, more and more Serbs prefer a modern take on engagement. The guy (usually) pops the question along with a shiny ring, hoping for the best. If everything goes as planned, he gets to post a romantic picture on social media with a caption: Rekla je da! (She said yes!).
However, Serbian traditional engagement may seem odd and unromantic in contrast. Here’s what happens. The guy’s family visits the girlfriend’s home and asks for her hand. If all goes well, she gets an engagement ring, and the two families exchange presents.
As uncomfortable as it may sound to share such an intimate moment with your gran, this custom is still fairly common, especially in rural areas.
Preparations for the big day are long, elaborate, and costly. However, one of the most significant things that future spouses need to do is pick kum and kuma.
Loosely translated as godfather (kum) and godmother (kuma), they are more like the best man and the maid of honor, only more important. In fact, when someone accepts to be your kum or kuma, it’s like creating a sacred bond that’s never supposed to be broken.
Whoever fills these roles will become an honorary family member and play a significant role at major events, like your wedding and the christening of any future children.
In the past, old family friends would typically fill these roles. More recently, though, young couples tend to choose their besties for this purpose.
First off, you should know that Serbian weddings last quite a bit. By that, we mean from early morning till long after midnight. Indeed, it’s an exhilarating but exhausting day, especially for the newlyweds.
But how does it all begin?
Unless they’re already living together, the bride and groom prepare for the big day at their respective homes from the early hours. He dons a suit, and the bride wears a wedding dress (usually white).
Then, guests gather at two homes, where they get to enjoy breakfast and drinks. Once everybody’s ready, the groom’s party heads to the bride’s residence.
Yes, a long time ago, the tradition was for the groom’s party to purchase the bride from her family. Luckily, this custom has lost its original meaning, and, today, it’s a lot of fun for everyone involved.
Here’s what usually happens — dever (the groom’s brother or closest male cousin) haggles with the bride’s brother, trying to convince him to open the door of their home and let the bride leave with the groom.
While this is still called purchasing of the bride, it usually doesn’t involve real money. Instead, the purchase may be done with fake banknotes, candy, or another symbolic currency.
However, due to the controversial origin of this custom, many couples opt out of it.
Another questionable tradition is shooting an apple. Namely, to prove his ability to protect his future wife, the groom has to shoot a piece of fruit placed on a pole or a rooftop.
Once he succeeds, the wedding rites may proceed. So, if you’re at a wedding and you hear gunshots, don’t be alarmed — it’s just the groom proving his manliness.
Jokes aside, many people don’t feel comfortable around weapons, so this custom is getting less common, just like the previous one.
After picking up the bride, the wedding party heads for the next venue. Typically, it’s a church.
While a church wedding isn’t a requirement, most Serbs opt to have one — some for religious reasons, others for cute pictures and a unique experience.
On the other hand, a civil wedding is a must. It can occur at the city hall, reception venue, or outdoors. For instance, some couples choose to say Da! (I do!) at a mountain top, beside a lake, or whichever spot they find the most romantic.
Although the following custom is hardly unique, it’s still worth mentioning. Once married, Serbian brides usually toss their flower bouquets for single ladies to catch. The gal who snags it will get married next — or so the belief goes.
Another thing to do right after the wedding? Step on your darling’s foot. Sounds weird?
According to old beliefs, the spouse who steps on the other’s foot first will call all the shots in the marriage. This tradition dates back to when men were dominant, and it was a symbolic way for women to stand their ground.
Thankfully, this custom has lost its original meaning and remains only as an innocent joke.
There are no flower girls in Serbian weddings. Instead, you’re likely to see girls selling corsages — floral decorations that they attach to guests’ wrists or lapels.
Since each attendee is expected to pay a small amount as a courtesy (a couple of dollars), have some cash on you when going to a wedding.
Picture this — a swarm of people (sometimes several hundred), a band playing music so loud you can’t hear your own thoughts and enough food to feed a small village. Yup, that’s a Serbian wedding for you.
Of course, all this seems much nicer after a drink (or ten). Indeed, Serbs drink tons at weddings, which may explain the lively atmosphere and everyone’s readiness to dance like there’s no tomorrow. Bottoms up!
Have you ever heard about kolo? It’s a traditional Balkan-style dance in which people form a circle holding hands, performing a set pattern of steps.
Fortunately, you don’t need to know the moves to join. Just look at what others are doing, follow along, and have a blast!
Throughout the day, but especially when it’s time to cut the wedding cake, you’re likely to hear a brass band (trubači). They play lively traditional tunes, which may make you feel like you’re inside an Emir Kusturica’s movie.
Amazingly, this music can bring even the most boring party to life. That said, prepare your eardrums because… Well, trust us.
In the past, Serbian weddings used to last three or even four days. Luckily (or unluckily, if you’re a party animal), modern weddings won’t take up half your week. Still, you may be invited to an after-party the following day, especially if you’re close to the newlyweds.
With Serbian wedding traditions out of the way, we’ll answer frequently asked questions.
What to wear to a Serbian wedding?
Whatever you like! Unlike in the US, Serbian weddings typically don’t have a strict dress code. Still, it is a special occasion, so you should make yourself presentable.
One thing the ladies should steer clear of is a white dress — for obvious reasons. Black is fine, though, as long as it’s not the only color (since an all-black outfit implies mourning.)
As for guys, most of them wear a suit, so there’s little room for mistakes.
What gift should I bring?
No one can tell you what to bring, but the unspoken rule is to gift money. Since weddings cost a pretty penny to organize, the newlyweds can use that money to cover some expenses.
Besides, registering for wedding gifts isn’t a thing in Serbia, which makes choosing a useful present tricky.
Does Serbia recognize same-sex marriages?
Sadly, the answer is no. But hopefully, that will change sometime soon.
Before wrapping up, we’ll clue you in on the key expressions to help you figure out who’s who and what’s what at a Serbian wedding.
Serbian | English |
venčanje | wedding ceremony |
svadba | wedding reception |
engagement | veridba |
verenički prsten | engagement ring |
burma | wedding ring |
mladoženja | groom |
mlada | bride |
mladenci | newlyweds |
medeni mesec | honeymoon |
Udaj se za mene! | Marry me! |
In the last example, you can see that the verb used in proposals is udati se. However, this expression only applies to the bride. When talking about the groom, you need to use the verb oženiti se. For example:
So, what are your thoughts on Balkan-style marriage rites? Are you dreading the thought or can’t wait to dance the night (or two) away? Either way, our guide on Serbian wedding traditions will help you relax and make the most of this special experience!
And while you party, there’s no reason not to work on your Serbian skills. Yes, we know that weddings cost an arm and a leg. That’s why we’ll send you our original self-study worksheets for free. Just sign up for our newsletter and get ready to practice!
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